The Happiest Trix Commercial in the Whole World
by Kathy The Cat
Summary: Just as the title says it: It's the happiest Trix commercial in the whole wide world. I didn't like the original version, though, so I've re-written it. :) It's not as bloody and violent as before, but I still you all will like it... well, some of you.


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The Happiest Trix Commercial In The Whole Wide World

Disclaimer: I don't own Trix yogurt or the cereal or the rabbit

One bright day in the park, two little children wanted to brighten their day with color, and you know what that means. Trix Yogurt!! No sooner had they announced it, there was the Trix Rabbit, thinking of an idea to finally get his paws on some. He never had any before, but it was just sooo tempting he HAD to get some.

"I'll finally get some of that Trix!" he announced to himself with that little trill that he always did when he said "Trix".

The rabbit did another one of his weird ideas. He dressed up as a rock and crawled over to the kids. As he got closer and closer, he ringed out all that stuff about "lemony yellows" and "grapety grapes", and as usual, the kids heard him and said that all famous line "Silly Rabbit! Trix are for kids!!" and giddily laughed and ran away from the rabbit. Usually, the Rabbit would just give up, but not this time... 

"Oh no you don't!!! I've spent my entire four year lifespan going after that yogurt and that cereal! I've been nice all those times, but NOT THIS TIME!! This time, I've really blown my carrot top!!!"

"Gee, I wonder what he's babbling about, Jimmy?" said the little girl.

"Yeah, Sue. I wonder what he means." said the little boy.

"Gimme that Trix!!!" yelled the Rabbit.

"No, Silly Rabbit! Remember what we just told you? Trix is for ki-"

"I DON'T CARE!!! I NEEED IT!!!"

Just then, a big group of about 30 or 40 kids ran over to the park and surrounded the Rabbit. "Okay, Silly Rabbit! We're all going to tell you at once just what Trix is for. You ready? Okay everyone: Silly Rabbit! Trix are for kids!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" screamed the rabbit dramatically. "YOU DON'T UNDERSTAAAAAAND!!!"

"Gee, that rabbit is so silly, right Sue?" said some kid.

"Yeah, Jill. He's so silly, I almost feel sorry for him, but I'm having too much fun eating Trix to care!"

The Rabbit got terribly angry now. "If you don't give me the Trix, I'M GOING TO STEAL IT FROM YOU!!"

"But, but stealing is mean!" said another messed up child.

"Yeah!"

"Do I look like I care right now?!!" demanded the Rabbit

"Um... No" said a child.

"Alright then. I'll give you ONE more chance. GIMME THE TRIX!!"

"No" said a rather, arrogant child.

Instead of saying anything, the Rabbit screamed out his lungs, and began to cry. "GIVE ME THE TRIX!!" he bawled, but it didn't stop there. "My life is meaningless without being able to taste the wonder, that is Trix! I MUST TRIUMPH!!!"

The children all looked at each other as if to say "this isn't good", but actually, they didn't know what the heck he was talking about.

The Rabbit looked at each of the children and shook one of them violently. Then, he pressed his nose really close to the kid's face, and in a spooky voice he said "GIVE ME THE TRIX, OR I'LL RIP OUT THE NERVE ENDINGS ON YOUR TEETH, WRAP THEM AROUND YOUR EYES AND TAKE-"

"EEEEEK!!! Okay, you really want some?! HERE TAKE IT! TAKE IT AND GO AWAY, FREAK!" the child snorted.

"Thank you!" the rabbit said cheerfully, and grabbed the yogurt right out of the child's hand.

"Oh boy... TODAY!!! I LIVE THE LIFE OF DESTINY!!!" he yelled. "HA!!! IN YOUR FACE, STUPID LITTLE KIDS!!!!" he said "kids" in a mocking tone. The children gathered 'round and started at him, about to eat.

The rabbit took a spoon, and got a large and perfect looking scoop of the yogurt and lifted it gently up to his face, where he could inhale the wonderful smell of the fruity goodness. He then, moved the spoon up to his mouth and took a large and inviting bite; The most delicious, succulent bite in is entire life... NOT.

"YECK!!!!!" he screamed. "This stuff is DISGUSTING!!! BLECK!!! *cough, cough* How CAN you kids EAT and actually INGEST this artificial pasteurized crap?!! I think I'm gonna vomit!!" And that's just what the Rabbit did. He immediately threw up on all of them.

"Ewwwwwwwww... bunny puke!" said a little girl.

"MOMMY!!!!" said another child.

"I am outta here. Bye everyone! I'm going to to try some of those Pop Tarts, or Lucky Charms, or Honey Nut Cheerios. They can't be as bad as this." And so the Rabbit went on his way, to find a brand new thing to crave for years and years and never ever get to taste it, while leaving all the fat little children scarred for life, as they were horrified at discovering what bunny puke looked like.

They all looked at each other uncomfortably again before stuffing their faces full of the nasty, powdery, yogurt again!!!

Little did they know, however that because all they've been eating for all the years of their lives was Trix, something bad would happen...

BOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!

They all exploded!

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The End


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